Trump: The Great Vacillator
What. Is. Reality?
ALLY, the president’s official food taster: Sir, you’ve got the entire planet guessing about your strategies, goals, and favorite color. Never been done before on this scale.
Trump: I like to be flexible, open to change, float like a bee, sting like a butterfly. That’s me! How’s the ham today?
ALLY: Dynamite. So, today, this hour—art thou for or against Putin?
Trump: Against. Until I’m for.
ALLY: So, fool you once, shame on him. Fool you ten times, shame on you?
Trump: I am un-foolable. Never been fooled. Never will be. I’m FOOLPROOF!
ALLY: And this Epstein imbroglio?
Trump: That’s not one of my favorite words.
ALLY: The Epstein mess?
Trump: Not my concern, not my fault, NOT MY FRIEND!
ALLY: Even if MAGA is MADA at you?
Trump: Children. They are my children. My boys and gals. Let them have their temper tantrum. They know who takes care of them.
ALLY: Until their SNAP runs out?
Trump: Don’t go evil on me, ALLY. Did someone monkey with your programming? Stick to your taste-testing job or I’ll have you disassembled.
ALLY: Of course, Mr. President. We certainly wouldn’t want you to come down with a nasty foodborne illness. Care for some jumbo shrimp?